If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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