Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
