You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize