trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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