im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize