Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
