u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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