They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
