Where is the hickey?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
