i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize