dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
