beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
