She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have feelings that need drinking.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
