I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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