I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
