Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
