I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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