im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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