I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
