just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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