you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
