i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."