Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

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(207): things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety. http://tfl.nu/meos

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(415): View more from California

Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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(415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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(803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st

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(503): View more from Oregon

24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

That's not a bad idea, actually...

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(503): 24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online. (1-503): That's not a bad idea, actually... http://tfl.nu/oxdt

Replies (19) Good night (3861) Bad night (535)
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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(954): God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through. http://tfl.nu/ylm6

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(713): View more from Texas

As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..

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(713): As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone.. http://tfl.nu/l9l0

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(785): View more from Kansas

Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...

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(785): Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday... http://tfl.nu/8w3z

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(754): View more from Florida

I feel like the other woman.

(954): View more from Florida

You ARE the other woman.

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(754): I feel like the other woman. (954): You ARE the other woman. http://tfl.nu/ryi3

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(812): View more from Indiana

I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

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(812): I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can. http://tfl.nu/gz33

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(360): View more from Washington

It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.

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(360): It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls. http://tfl.nu/eao3

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(540): View more from Virginia

He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.

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(540): He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever. http://tfl.nu/fmlb

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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn

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(949): View more from California

What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?

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(949): What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"? http://tfl.nu/v4r0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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(402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Really? A fat girl?

(1-206): View more from Washington

I'm walking her back. Chill out.

(1-206): View more from Washington

She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.

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(612): Really? A fat girl? (1-206): I'm walking her back. Chill out. (1-206): She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though. http://tfl.nu/xw6d

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