apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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