The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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