I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
