Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
