Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
