And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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