u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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