why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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