dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Randomize
