When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
