my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize