i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
