Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
