Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that