dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics