Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.