last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.