1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
