Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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