You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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