Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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