I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
