I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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