whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
