like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
