You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
