You made me cry and you don't even care
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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