oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
