its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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