I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
