lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
