My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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