Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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