That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
