Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
