Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
