There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize