Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
