The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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