these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
