He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
