I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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