I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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