which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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