it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
